Getting over the bumps

It's hard to remember to keep everyone caught up everywhere, and I realized it had been a while since I posted on the blog. So for those who are keeping up this way -- here are the updates!

First, on the medical side we had some great news. Alex and I spent the day before Thanksgiving at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, with a two-hour appointment at the international adoption clinic for a medical and developmental assessment, then met with the head of the pediatric epilepsy program.

I was stunned to hear the neurologist's assessment that Alex does not have epilepsy, which is the reason he was available for international adoption! The doctor said the episodes reported in his file from China (from when he was two and three years old) were apparently not seizures at all, but common toddler breath-holding episodes that lead to the child passing out. The brain abnormalities that tests showed in China after those episodes are likely the result of some very early injury, and the brain probably compensated for that injury. Developmentally, physically and cognitively there does not appear to be any impact. The doctor said that if Alex had been brought into an ER here with those symptoms and description of the event, they would not even have done any of the tests.

The doctor offered to do an EEG and sedate Alex for an MRI anyway "just to reassure me." Um, no, I don't need to put Alex through that! I told him that if the head of the pediatric epilepsy program does not think he has had seizures, that is good enough for me.

CHOP didn't just send us on our merry way, however. We still need to address his strabismus (which wasn't even mentioned in his file from China, although we suspected it from his photos in the file) and likely that will require surgery. We're also going to see an ENT because he snores horribly, is a light sleeper and often breathes heavily. The doctor at the international adoption clinic wants to make sure he is not suffering from sleep apnea. And next week we visit our pediatric dentist, where Alex will certainly be a regular for a long time to address some really bad dental issues that are the result of no dental care in China.

We also may do a few weeks of physical therapy, just to help Alex with some exercises to strengthen muscles that went unused in the orphanage, and will be talking to the school about some occupational therapy to bring his fine motor skills up to speed. He's really not far behind kids here, but we want to give him every opportunity.

At home, Alex continues to do very well. He is picking up new words all the time and definitely understands much more than he can say. He loves playing educational games on the iPad (Starfall as recommended by his ESL teacher, and other things we found), although of course the non-educational games are fun too. Last night we listened to Elmo sing the ABC song on YouTube a few dozen times, and when we did "wheels on the bus" he told me he sang thatt in China! He like to read books with me, and will pick them up himself to go through them after we've read them. His favorite phrase is "Mama, what is it?" We are giving him the words for objects all the time, and he is soaking them in.

He's quite the backseat driver since we taught him what red and green lights and stop signs mean! He also likes to tell me which way to turn at every familiar intersection.

He is so funny with new foods. As soon as he spies an unfamiliar food on the counter or table we get a loud, dramatic "Noooooo!Yucky!" But the rule is he has to try a small bite. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it (unless it's a required vegetable). Last night it was applesauce. He tried the small bite, immediately said "yucky!" and gulped down water. OK. Then he took a few more spoonfuls on his own and said, "Yummy!" Then he tried to throw it away and I said no, leave it and I would eat it. After it sat on the table for a minute, he picked it up, finished it off and decided he wanted some in his lunch box the next day. Pierogies sauted with butter and onion looked like poison to him, but after the required tiny bite he finished off the entire bowl. Banana bread was a huge hit (no surprise, since bananas are one of his favorite foods).

Last weekend Christmas lights started going up around our neigborhood and he is in LOVE with them. One neighbor puts on a huge show, and I drove him past to see them lit up. His voice coming out of the back seat was awestruck. "Ooooh, Mama. Oh, thank you, Mama." He would have sat there all night looking at them! We will have to get our own decorations started this weekend. We already got out all of the singing stuffed Christmas animals and such, and he has a blast playing them all.

Of course, it's not all smiles and rainbows! At home he can drive us crazy with the need for constant conversation and attention, and the fact that he is a shadow. I can't walk from one room to the next without him on my heels; it's just like having an anxious toddler glued to you. But this is totally expected and I'm happy to give him what he needs now. I know it won't last forever.

I did just get word that he was pinching other kids at school. We had a long talk via Google Translate about this, and he understands he is not allowed to hurt anyone. I know this is behavior he experienced at the orphanage; I saw the older boys treating him very roughly when we visited, even while they were obviously also treating him with affection. It's a different culture, and Alex has to learn to adapt to ours. He understands that if I hear he has hurt anyone again he loses the iPad, and I think that's enough of a threat to keep him in line! His teacher did say that yesterday he was better. I am sure that as he gets past the frustration of not being able to communicate with the other kids, it will be much easier for him.

Despite this, he loves school. He goes off each morning with a grin and a cheerful "Bye-bye, Mama!" He regularly runs through the names of the kids in his class. I think that soon he will start to make friends with them.

More later...